Oedipus the Teen: Keeping your teen’s drama from turning tragic
Posted by Jessica on August 31st, 2010
In ancient Greece “drama” was the generic term for a performance. Drama could be a tragedy, or comedy, or even a burlesque, but it was always fictional.
Raising a teenager can feel like you’re in the middle of a real-life Grecian drama without a genre. One moment you’re pulling out your hair in frustration, and the next you are laughing at the ridiculousness of the Facebook “flame war” your daughter is currently battling.
And that’s just it– teenage drama can be tragic, it can be comedic, it can even be somewhat perverse. Drama follows teenage girls like they follow #justinbeiber on Twitter, and as a parent it’s important to realize what “genre of drama” your teen currently has before you react. In clichéd terms: Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Honestly, you might as well invest in some hair dye, or maybe a wine cellar, because your teenage son or daughter for at least 5 to 10 years of his or her life will give you nothing but gray hair and melodrama until they mature.
And that’s OK. Nay, it’s actually a healthy and biological part of growing up.
According to a recent NPR story titled “Experiencing Teen Drama Overload? Blame Biology,” at age 12 the prefrontal cortex “thinking” part of the brain begins to shift considerably. This shift wipes out integral neurons that humans need to rationalize. Ergo, the real answer to the ‘”what WERE you thinking?!” question’, really is “nothing.”
This is an important fact to understand as you are raising a teen. Whether your teenage boy seems to have completely erased the word “thank you” from his vocabulary or your once little angel is brought home by a cop after sneaking out at night, just blame it on that darn prefrontal cortex.
Especially common with teenage girls, it is rare for teens to think through their responses or actions to problems or in social situations. This can lead to impulsive decision-making or cruelty. And that’s why it’s important to know the “genre of their drama.”
Most of the time teen drama is nonsensical, yet harmless. Comedic even, if it’s a nice day. Learn to let the “this sucks” and “I’m bored” comments go when you’re on vacation, don’t stoop to their level and bicker every school morning, and try to let most teen drama in the household simply float away like Laguna Beach’s Kristin Cavallari.
Conversely, when teen drama is nearing the tragic, you will know it. Warning signs that your teen is experiencing extraordinary drama, stress or anxiety are changes in her diet or sleeping patterns. Primal instincts are key here, not mood swings, which are bound to be more common in your household than the word “please” for several years.
Also, watch out for bullying behavior from your male teen or what’s fancily termed “relational aggression,” a subtle form of (most commonly female) bullying. Relational aggression takes form in hurtful rumors, exclusion, ridicule at school or on Facebook, etc, and can put victims at risk of self-injury, drug and/or alcohol use, eating disorders and depression. Genre: tragedy.
To prevent it, have a “bullying” talk like you would a sex talk with your teen, be stern and unrelenting when you witness relational aggression, and be a model of kind behavior to others in front of your teens (but of course you already do that!).
Although teen drama isn’t as fictional as the Greek kind, it certainly is ancient. If you haven’t experienced it yet, you will. And once you do you will whine, whimper, and wail to everyone who will listen. And everyone will respond with the same mantra “it’s just their age.”
So we want to hear from our readers who are survivors of their kid’s teenage years. What advice do you have for parents with newly dramafied teens? Should you read parenting books all day or just buy out Costco’s supply of ibuprofen? Inquiring, and frazzled, moms want to know!
In return for posting your wisdom in the comment box below you will be entered into a contest to win an Artistic Sensations $50 gift card!
And hey, you even could use it on some teen bedding. Maybe that will encourage your teens to actually sleep at night instead of sneaking out the window?
Maybe.







