When Scary Financial News Hits Close to Home
by Julie Freedman Smith and Gail Bell of Parenting Power™
Whether it’s your neighbor, someone on the news or right in your own home, fears about the economy are circling around all of us these days. It’s hard not to get dragged into the worry and our kids are no exception. Even if your job is fairly secure, there is a good chance that your children will want to know why people are scared or worried. And what if you have to be the one to share bad news about your own situation?
Values of honesty may clash with the need to protect kids from the worst. To that end, we’ve put together a few tips to help you make a plan for your family.
1. Children are very good at reading our emotions so if bad news has got you worried it is a good idea to plan to talk with your kids about it. Otherwise, they may start attributing your mood to something that they have done:
a. Why is Mom so sad? Maybe I’ve done something wrong?
b. Is Dad mad at me? He hasn’t stopped frowning for days.
2. When sharing news with kids, use facts and keep them age specific
a. (For younger kids)We won’t have quite as much money for the next little while – that will mean spending the next couple of holidays at home and only one activity this summer
b. (For upper Elementary and older)I have been laid off of work. We have some money saved up (severance package). I am going to start looking for a different job and I’ll keep you up to date on what’s happening. We need to make some new spending decisions for the next while. Our budget for your activities is this. What are your ideas about how it can best be spent?
3. Share your feelings and support those of your children
a. This is kind of a scary time and we are feeling a bit worried. We want you to know that it’s not your job to make us feel better. The good news is that we are a team and we know that we can figure out a plan.
b. If you are scared or worried, you can always talk to us about how you’re feeling. We’ll help you to know how things will work out ok. Don’t be worried about talking with us.
4. Check in regularly with your kids. Telling them once may not be enough. They will also want to know how things are progressing. Remember that fear and worry can come out as misbehaviour. If things are going downhill, rather than punishing poor behaviour, acknowledge feelings.
a. Wow – that behaviour is not normal for you. It seems like you are feeling really anxious. Let’s talk about how things are going. Are you scared about our financial situation?
5. Talking about fears, “what-ifs” and worst-cases can be good because they get those ideas out of heads and onto paper. From there, you and your kids can work together to make plans for those eventualities or rule them out completely.
Here’s hoping that you don’t have to tread these waters. However, if you find yourself anywhere near them, remember to keep talking and sharing age-relevant facts with your kids to help them through rather than keeping them in the dark.
This article is reprinted with permission from Julie Freedman Smith and Gail Bell of Parenting Power™.
They believe that there is more than one “Right way to parent.” Using over 40 years of combined experience, Julie and Gail have inspired thousands of parents to Parent with a Plan™. Their toll-free parenting courses, recordings, magazine articles and telephone coaching help to ease the stress and guilt of parents while providing practical solutions to everyday parenting difficulties. Visit www.parentingpower.ca. Contact them today at info@parentingpower.ca to get your free copy of Five Ways to stay Confident, Capable, Calm.
