How to Recognize Warning Signs

by Zen Mommy

Suzanne Tucker, a.k.a. Zen Mommy In addition to “mommying” to two magical girls, Suzanne is Zen Mommy on My Mommy Manual, an online community that connects YOU with practical and inspired tips. My Mommy Manual and Artistic Sensations are partnering to give you the resources to support your parenting journey.

Warning signs…if you’d asked me last night what these two little words conjured up in my head, I’d have said “A great song by Coldplay… but ask me this same question today and I’d have a different answer. ”Oh, you mean like those little red lights that showed up on my car’s dash yesterday that I ignored? The same ones that were there this morning (now four instead of two) just before my car conked out?” Yeah. Like THOSE warning signs.

Blessedly, I had just dropped my two girls off at school. I’d made it about five blocks down the road before coasting to a complete dead stop in the middle of a turning lane. In keeping with my glass half-full sort of spirit, it could have been worse…ALOT WORSE. My kids were safe at school. I had a cell phone on me and it was charged. It was 8am in the morning and i was near my home. I was NOT an hour from home in the middle of nowhere with a car full of kids at 9pm (like i very well could have been and was just the week before).

KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR

My friends hubby saw me not minutes after I stalled in the right hand turning lane (literally half way through the turn) and pulled over to help. Just five minutes after breaking down, my ailing car and I were pushed safely out of harms way onto a quiet side street. And there I sat awaiting my night in shining armor (a tow truck – not the guy driving it…)

I sat there giggling at myself a bit. What was I thinking? I’d soooooooo seen those lights the day before. And I HAD had every intention of getting my car checked…hadn’t I? It was on my mind; but not before my 9 am meeting with a friend or my 10 am baby massage class. Probably not before my 3 pm Girl Scout meeting either. But sometime. Real soon. I WAS going to get to that.

CROSS EXAMINER

O.K., still waiting for the tow-truck-guy about 20 minutes later (and after having a GOOD long laugh with/at myself) my mind abruptly turned from a teasing friend to more like a cross examiner. “How is this like your life?!?!” my mind wanted to know. “What. Me?” Yep, me.

I started looking to other areas of my life for where warning signs might be blinking away in vain, failing to catch my attention. Well, there was the washing machine in the kitchen…it sure has been acting funny. My mind was soooo not satisfied with this answer. “Go deeper”, it begged. OK,  maybe in the slowly failing health of some of my house plants? They could surely use a little extra attention. “Getting closer” my mind offered. Hmmmm…my health? My relationships at work? With my girlfriends? My husband? My kids? My dog??!?!

OMG!!…there could be red light blaring all around me!!!! Did I have my eyes open to them, and even if I did see them, would I respond swiftly to the blinking red lights in my life? Or instead would I let them go by as I had the lights on the car dash just the night before?

It’s not always easy to be completely honest with ones own mind, but in this case I let it all hang out. I fully admitted that unless the lights in my life got to flashing really fast or really bright, I would most likely push them off to the side as well. I mean, come on! Who looks forward to having those lights checked? I’ll be the first to admit it. I DON’T. (At least I didn’t…). In the past, my typical response has been to wait until I am certain something is needing me to attend to it before I stop everything else to do so.

TRUTH TELLER

Ahh, I hear my mind saying. Ahhhhhh. Truth. (My mind is always quick to recognize when I’m being really REAL with it.) Truth. Can you see yourself here at all? If you tend to put things off until they BEG for your attention, then you and I have something in common.

I think the busier life gets, so too the tendency to put out the closest/biggest fires. Warning sign become just that…signs that something may or may not turn into a fire or a crisis that flat out demands our attention. Does this sort of waiting make any sense at all? No, not really. Yet my bet is that some of you reading this out there can relate.

If anything, the incident with my car this morning has been a wake up call for me. I can change this pattern in my life if I choose. I can stop right now (as I am stranded without a car for at least a day or two!!) at sit with paper and pen, looking for the blinking lights in my life. I can write them down and give them some attention. I do not have to wait until my plants are dying, my health is failing or my relationships turn south (sounds like a country music song) to attend to these signs.

This week, I hope you will join me in looking for the warning signs in your everyday life that might be vying for your attention. Take a minute and jot them down. Look to your health, your work, your family and your relationships. Has life been flashing at you anywhere in there? What does this warning sign indicate and how might you get this light to turn itself off?

For me it was as simple as a conversation. I read this post to my hubby and asked him, ”Are you flashing at me??!?!” Ha. He laughed. Then  after the kids were in bed we had a great conversation about the weekend ahead. We chatted about the many things that pull for our attention and the busy week that we’d just had that was coming to an end. A chat. So nice. And that’s all it took to turn that ‘lil red light off.

Please, learn from my mistakes. Don’t wait until you find yourself conked out on the side of the road to have those lights checked out. Find the warning signs in your life and give them some attention well BEFORE they demand it.

Posted by kgellman on Thursday, August 6th, 2009 at 10:30 pm.