As the summer sun begins to wane into cooler beginnings for a new school year, adults like to relax and watch the seasons change. Their teens, conversely, want to party it up before school starts.
It is both natural and healthy for teenage kids to want to socialize with their friends both inside the home and out. But it is your responsibility to maintain control over your teens partying and behavior, while still allowing them freedom to grow into mature adults.
Oftentimes parents unintentionally lead their teens in the wrong direction just because they approach parenting from an incorrect vantage point. Parents need to impose limits, rules and discipline on their teen circumstantially to avoid common mistakes.
Consider their age: Parents should certainly have different rules for their 14 year-old than their 17 year-old. The teenage years are extremely important to kids’ mental development. It is during the teenage years that children will become the most reckless and irresponsible of their lives as well as the most grown-up and mature. This is why their age is so important. If a 13 year-old asks to spend the night at a friend’s house, it is probably more innocent than if a 15 year-old does, because as teens age they become more rebellious, less afraid of punishment, more susceptible to peer pressure and more adventurous.
Be a Role Model: Amazingly, teenagers do look up to their parents, even if they’d rather die than admit it. Consider your behavior around your children. If you smoke, they are more likely to smoke. If you binge drink at family functions (or at all in front of your kids) they could mimic your behavior at parties. Try not to adopt the “do as I say, not as I do” mantra, but instead try for the “lead by example” parenting model.
Give a ‘get out of jail free’ card: At parties your teen will inevitably be put in some precarious and sometimes dangerous situations. Accepting this can be the most difficult part of parenting a teen. And knowing that you have to let go and give your teen the freedom to attend parties that could lead them into a hazardous situation can be downright frightening. Consider giving your teen a ‘get out of jail free’ card to ease some of that worry. Encourage your teen to call you at any time of the night from any location and in any situation if they feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Assure your teen that if they do so you will not yell, berate, or interrogate them. Instead, wait until the situation has calmed down in a day or so and then have a composed discussion with your teen about what happened. Sometimes the ‘get out of jail free’ card is all it takes to keep your teen from getting in a car with a drunk driver to get a ride home or staying the night at an unsafe location with dangerous or abusive people.
Punish (and reward) based on behavior: Parents of responsible teens should not only be grateful, they should also reward their teens for good behavior. A trustworthy teen who comes home five minutes past curfew from a party should not be punished or grounded. Similarly, if you cannot trust your teen, it doesn’t mean that their curfew should automatically be extended the day their birthday rolls around. Freedom is a privilege. Seriously consider your teen’s actions and reevaluate your rules periodically based on both bad and good behavior.
Accept it, your teens will want to party. The best thing for it is to keep an open mind and ear, pay attention to their needs and maturity levels and be happy that they are growing up healthily. And if you really want your kid to stay home more, try purchasing some of the teen décor items from Artistic Sensations—they’ll never want to leave their room!
